


Why Greasers Are At Times More Tempting Than Blue Ladies

by kitkattz



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cronus' annoying Innuendo's, Greasers, Guilty ship, Humanstuck, Jake's expansive vocabulary, M/M, kinda a crackship, whoops did I just write this, wow this is seriously the O N L Y CroJake fic on AO3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 18:25:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3820357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkattz/pseuds/kitkattz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake discovers an old-fashioned club that's all swing, jazz, rock'n'roll and 1920-1950's style- and he loves it. However, so does a certain flirty greaser, and Jake soon finds himself bannanas attracted to a trashcan with quite the offensive vocabulary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Greasers Are At Times More Tempting Than Blue Ladies

**Author's Note:**

> So.. This is a guilty-ship one shot, hope y'all like it! Its been a little hectic and I still need to update THUGTD and WA, but this is just to get back into the swing of things! (And may or may not be a bit self indulgent!)

_I'm a bad boy - need to dance,_

_If you don't dance, no romance._

_Feel like dancin' dance with me,_

_First dance is always free_

 

Jake grinned as he entered the club, eyes on the patrons who seemed as out of place in this time period as he did. The music was live, the entire place a beautiful representation of Swinger Style, and Jake almost squealed in delight.

This was it, he finally found a social event that suited his taste!

He stepped onto the dance floor, looking through the crowd with an elated expression. Women had dressed in traditional swinger costumes, men in bow ties and tailed suites as he was, stunning flappers teasing patrons at the bar. There were greasers, too, off to the side with girls in poodle skirts, and Jake was taken aback at the utter perfection of the entire establishment.

 

_Bebop sliding down my back,_

_Never alone when I hit the sack._

_Swings a thing with a ringa-ding-ding,_

_I get wings when I sing._

_Ragtime reason and rhyme,_

_I'm the reason, you're divine._

 

Jake made his way over to the bar, sliding into a barstool next to an attractive woman with a blonde bob-cut and black and purple flapper apparel. She smiled at him, gloved hands folded neatly under her chin, elbows on the bar.

"Care for a dance?" He asked, hand outstretched to her.

"Maybe later, I'm waiting on someone," she replied, but the let-down was lighthearted, and Jake smiled.

"Well I hope he doesn't leave a beauty like you hanging too long-"

"You say something about dancing?" A male voice asked, and Jake turned, watching out of his peripheral vision as the flapper made her escape, heading towards the entrance to meet with a slender, poodle-skirt-clad woman with short, dark hair and bright jade eyes, who wrapped her arms around the flapper and kissed her.

Ah, lesbians, Jake realized, turning his attention fully to the male who had come up to him.

"Why yes, though it seems I'm not having the greatest of luck!" He laughed, noting the greaser's relaxed stance.

"Wvell, wvouldn't say you've got bad luck, chief. If you're down, wve could hit the floor," He offered, jet black hair slicked back and almost-purple eyes trained boredly on Jake.

His accent was definitely what caught Jake's attention first, and he nodded, deciding there was no reason to turn down the offer. "Yes, thank you," he accepted, and the greaser grinned, teeth bright white and perfectly straight.

Golly, that was a pretty smile!

"Wvhat are ya called, baby?" The greaser asked, and Jake blushed a bit at being called 'baby', but replied regardless.

"Jacob English, but you could call me Jake," he introduced. "And you are?"

"Conus Ampora."

"That's quite the exotic name!"

 

_When she kissed me I was born and she said goodbye,_

_And I knew right away I was born to cry._

_Now I'm happy and the Joke's on her,_

_Cause I found a place for lovers who wander!_

 

Jake grinned as the song came on- he actually knew this one! -and with a glance over at Cronus he could tell the greaser knew it too. There was a mischievous grin on his lips, and then Jake was being tugged to the dancefloor, one of Ampora's hands at his hip.

He shook his head immediately. "Ah-ah, I do believe I will be leading this time."

"Think again, Princess," Cronus replied, but there was a bit of a challenge in his tone, and Jake grinned.

It was hardly a moment after said challenge that Jake had drawn away, hand latching on to Cronus' wrist and throwing him out to the side in a wide-range leading move. Ampora looked surprised, but quickly stepped into his position, and Jake drew him back in again, Cronus all but jumping at him, and it took Jake a second to catch on to the move, but he was quick to bend, switching hands the moment Cronus offered, and then the greaser was rolling over his back to land on the ground beside him.

Needless to say, the current crowd made room quickly, and soon it was a duel for leading position between Jake and Cronus, both hatching equally ingenious plans, Jake to hold his position and Cronus to usurp it, but nevertheless both proved skilled in their dance.

 

_Now my story can be told with a smilin' face,_

_I'm the luckiest guy in the human race!_

_My dreams have gone for her,_

_Cause I found a place for lovers who wander!_

 

Jake yanked Cronus forward before pushing away again and dragging him back for a spin and a dip, grinning widely at the greaser's surprised expression as he wound up pressed flush to Jake's chest.

 

_Wo Wo Wo yeah, she took my love you see,_

_Yeah, she doesn't bother me._

_Yeah, I found that one place to be!_

_Yeah, ohhhhhhhhhh!_

 

And then Jake was shoving him away again, eyebrows cocked in challenge, and he realized that none of his previous relationships would have been able to handle such intense activity as this, nonetheless match him, and it gave Jake a new respect for Ampora.

Cronus returned the action, feet moving in a flurry as he moved in for the last few moments of moves before the song ended. He seemed to accept his place, accept that Jake would continue to lead, and as the song came to a close, Cronus did the single most ungreaser-like thing Jake thought he could, and all but leaped into his arms.

Jake replied just quick enough to catch him, one arm under his knees, the other at the center of his back, and then they dipped, and Jake set Cronus down, grinning.

"Now who were you calling 'Princess'?" Jake asked, a smug smile on his lips.

Jake turned as the crowd began to clap, and Cronus tugged him down in a kiss, probably just to rile their aaudience. There was more than one whistle and cat call at the kiss, and Jake got a mischievous idea, dipping down and swinging Cronus up into his arms.

The greaser let out a very unmanly gasp, and Jake chuckled before depositing him on a bar stool. "Well that was fun!" He gushed, smiling brightly, and Cronus glanced at him, chest heaving.

 _"Howv_ are you still _standing?_ " He managed, and Jake laughed at him.

"Swinging isn't for the weak, chum," he replied, a little out of breath but no worse for wear. Cronus, however, looked absolutely worn out.

"Wvell shit, if ya can dance like that, I bet you're an ace in the sack."

"So I've been told," Jake replied, playing along.

"Fuck Chief-" Cronus started, but a new song started, and he perked up immediately.

 _Sherry_ by _The Four Seasons._ Jake knew that song, and he hadn't heard it in forever.

He also knew the perfect dance for it.

"Are you up for round two?" Jake asked, and Cronus gave him a tired but determined glare.

"Hell yeah."

**Author's Note:**

> Songs are Bad Boy Good Man by Tape Five, and Lovers Who Wander by Dion and the Belmonts


End file.
